7.14.2008

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Ahhh...the feeling of being home from a long and wonderful vacation. Is there something in the human psyche that longs for the routine at times? Even for those of us who love and thrive on change from time to time, I for one was ready. Ready to be back in the predictable dailyness of life, the stuff that caring for little ones is made of.

North Carolina was heavenly. The words "I could live here" exited our lips quite often during the nine days we were away. The earth has always ministered to me in ways that nothing else really does...it just wreaks of the Creator and fills your spirit with that life-giving "fresh" air. We hiked every day (with a two year old and 15 month old...try that!). We swam and kayaked and sipped french press brewed coffee on the porch every morning overlooking the goat pasture. Yes, the goat pasture a definite hit with Zoe and Matt! Best of all was that my children were outside every day for most of the day! Just reminding me that we were truly created for the outdoors not trying to force them to play with brightly colored pieces of plastic that they really could care less about anyway. Just give them a stone path, a grassy field, some roaming creatures (goats, rabbits, geese, cats, not to mention fireflies!), sticks, dirt (especially for Matt who has aquired quite the taste for it), and they are good to go...for hours and hours on end. I so enjoyed watching my children in an environment where the "no's" were virtually nonexistent. Awesome!
Spiritually, I was stretched. For some reason the journey I have been on as a mother seemed to be more exaggerated maybe because what Jeremy and I discovered was that vacation with kids is not necessarily the vacation we were accustomed to.
When I mention the "journey of motherhood" that is code for "ultimate death of self" something I truly am not too keen about. It seems that I sense the self God is trying to pull away from me just hanging on for dear life...demanding to be fed and coddled and the Great Lover of my soul is saying Let it go girl...To which I reply "But what about me! What about my quiet time actually drinking hot coffee and not coffee that's been abandoned for yet another diaper change or breaking up of a fight? What about my time to stretch out and read that book collecting dust on my nightstand? What about my skills and gifts going unused because I just don't have time...the list goes on and on.
And then the whisper comes "to gain your life you've got to give it away...sounds familiar...sounds like "motherhood." Again my relentless Pursuer comes after this sinner turned saint in ways that I wouldn't have chosen but in ways that lead me back to Him again and again and into the delicious life He planned for me to live. So vacation was so much more than just getting away but a reminder that the little ones and husband He has so graciously gifted me with, remain the greatest tools thus far He has and is using to birth the abundant life in me. Keep it coming Lord, keep it coming, in the routine that we have returned to...keep bringing me into more and more of You.

3 comments:

Christianne said...

beautiful, mags. simply beautiful. i love all the pictures of you and your kiddos and your hub. and i always love to hear the words pouring out of your heart. it is a beautiful heart. i feel the struggle inside you when i read what you wrote here about death to self.

can't wait to see you and catch up soon. so glad you had a wonderful time in the outdoors. :)

Charlotte McKinley said...

I love you and I am so tearfully thankful that we are sisters. You are a miracle and don't you ever forget it. Jesus has ravished your life and I see it and it is beautiful. You send the aroma of God's pursuit...and isn't that true freedom, to know that it's not up to us!

Lauren said...

I am staying tuned for the next Maggie installment! I know it's coming! I just know it!

(Love you and thinking of you)

Lauren